


Uh oh!

by Werewolfbeans



Series: The Adventures of Fido [3]
Category: teratophilia - Fandom
Genre: Ficlet, Other, monster/human, request, sfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 12:11:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12320832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Werewolfbeans/pseuds/Werewolfbeans
Summary: You wonder if Fido can handle some peanut butter for lunch.





	Uh oh!

**Author's Note:**

> every friday on werewolfbeans, i open requests for ficlets that are 300 to 500 words. i wrote this today (the date posted), and wanted to add this here since these are pre-existing characters. i plan to add all ficlets i write into a comprehensive 'work'

This is going to be the best idea ever, you can already feel it.

You unlocked the door to your apartment, holding your little boon from the grocery store under your arm, so your new-found roommate wouldn’t see the surprise just yet. Ever since Fido had joined you in the  _fantastic adventures_  of paying rent (not really, but you like to dream), he’s been eating you out of house and home.

Not anymore, bitches.

He does, though, hear you come in, and saunters his giant, shedding self into the kitchen where you are. He smells like he’s been digging in the trash again- which he probably has, since apparently, even though you go grocery shopping once a week, the trash you bring home is NOTHING compared to the sweltering trash heap outside.

You can’t believe you’re dating this asshole.

“Hey there, pretty-”

“Don’t even think about it,” You stop him, getting out a spoon. “Besides, I want you to try something new I got- I think you’ll like it.” You say, opening up the peanut butter you were hiding. He looks down at it, wrinkling his nose at the smell (not that you blame him- even if it’s a good smell, it’s way too strong for your liking) and looks at you.

“You seriously think I don’t know what peanut butter is? You  _do_  know I was human too, once.” He says, sitting on a bar stool nearby. “ _And_  I know what it does to dogs. You could’ve just told me to shut up, you know.”

“Yes, I know. But you’re not a dog, you’re a  _wolf_ , so I figured it’d be okay.” You say, handing him the spoon. “Besides, you’re always licking wrappers of peanut butter crackers, so I figured you’d like a jar all to yourself.”

“You know me so well,” He jokes, already scooping out a glob of peanut butter. You have a feeling the jar will be empty within five minutes, tops.

You roll your eyes, turning to continue putting up groceries. Shockingly, Fido is silent for the remainder of this- until you start to hear a weird…slapping sound, almost. You turn around to see just what the  _fuck_  your idiot boyfriend is doing, only to see him trying to lick the peanut butter from the roof of his mouth.

You’re one regret in life is not having a camera ready to capture this memorable moment.

“Oh my fucking god,” You start, and he glares at you. You can’t help but bust out laughing, trying to fill a glass up with water through your tears. “I forgot muzzles aren’t exactly peanut butter friendly,” You joke, handing him the glass. You think he’d be yelling at you, if his mouth wasn’t currently glued shut by the peanut butter.

It takes him a few minutes to actually get the water to work- spilling it everywhere in the process, and when he finally gets everything cleared, he just looks you in the eyes. Oh lord, here it comes.

“You knew that was gonna happen, didn’t you-” “Oh come on, you can’t blame me for wanting a moment of peace and-”

He immediately gets up, probably to either give you a swirlie or a wedgie, and you feel like this is a good time to pick up the laundry from downstairs.


End file.
